Southern Hospitality: Living an Authentic Life in a Hate-Filled Environment

By Kal Reasons

Growing up, I was always taught absolute lessons, which meant turns of phrase like “Follow the Golden Rule,” and “Love Thy Neighbor,” becoming concretely ingrained in my young mind. It also meant an entire education about properly participating in the idea of southern hospitality, which can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For me, it’s as simple as being respectful and treating others as they treat you. My entire life, I have maintained these lessons and continue to follow them with vigor, sometimes to the dismay of others. It’s easy to do because these concepts are simple and make rational, logical sense, and I seem to have an unshakeable sense of justice that even my mother comments on frequently. However, when it comes to acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, it is far from logical how many local Jacksonians respond.

This past October, the Jackson Pride Committee maintained continuous poise and professionality when dealing with the hatred and bigotry being targeted towards them so fervently by conservative residents and the representatives responsible for filing an injunction against a family-friendly drag show that was planned as part of the annual Pride festival that is held. Although some concessions were made, the event was still able to be saved, but the attention stirred the pot enough that representatives are attempting further action. Around the same time, Vanderbilt’s gender-affirming practices were placed under scrutiny by Matt Walsh and this has only continued this domino effect of hatred. Currently, Senate Majority Leader Jack Johnson is sponsoring two more bills dedicated to the erasure of our community, which will be discussed at the opening legislative session on January 10. Senate Bill 3 directly targets public drag shows, and more specifically, “any male or female impersonators who provide entertainment that appeals to a prurient interest.” If passed, this bill could be used against transgender citizens across the state, including in Jackson, by placing the responsibility of deciding what is or is not prurient in the hands of law enforcement.

In my own opinion, I do not see how any conservatives can be so supportive of bills that are explicitly meant to limit human identity, expression, and outside perspectives when the basis of original conservative values in Tennessee was meant to limit governmental control. Nothing like good ole’ ‘Murican freedom to say you have to fit a specific mold in order to be accepted by your community while denying your authentic self or facing the risk of prosecution by the law, right?

Senate Bill 1, which is co-sponsored by Republicans Ken Yager and Ferrell Haile, supports the criminalization of any gender-affirming care for minors. Consequently, this will force medical experts that have spent years of their lives dedicated to the pursuit of truth and knowledge while following their Hippocratic oaths to be forced yet again to make crucial medical decisions within the confines of the limited knowledge possessed by our representatives. This bill will put more kids at risk by furthering the discrimination they can face and will become a slippery slope towards their ultimate goals: banning any LGBTQ+ individuals from being allowed to freely exist within their own bodies and exerting an overuse of political power against an underrepresented community.

In recent years, Tennessee has been noticeably increasing the heat on the LGBTQ+ community through over 30 different bills. Deemed the “Slate of Hate,” these bills are currently affecting individuals of all ages from all walks of life. These dubious violations of bodily autonomy and human rights are just parts of many intersectional issues that are continuing to grow in Tennessee. Issues like racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, classism, and more are all interwoven across multiple avenues of daily life for hundreds of thousands of individuals in our state, and we have to work towards correcting these issues if we hope at all to live in a world that treats all people with equity, respect, and understanding.

In my own experience, living as an LGBTQ+ Tennessean has been a nightmare at times that has felt unbearable. I knew from a young age that I was queer, and when I first came out as bisexual in middle school, I was told by my guidance counselor to “Seek Jesus and repent,” for giving a girl in my class a love letter. When I came to the same counselor for repeated bullying with proof on multiple occasions, however, I learned an important lesson then that no one is coming to save me from this pain. At the time, I was a devout Christian that attended church every time the doors were open, and I understood then why Jesus’ followers were the poor, the hungry, the diseased, and the outcasted. My current beliefs are complicated, though I have found much peace in following Buddhist teachings along my journey because of these struggles. In high school, I was assaulted after I came out as nonbinary because I began wearing ties often and cut my hair short. Once again, I had been challenged for refusing to conform. These problems felt so isolating to me, but as I have aged, I have learned that my experience was common and have noticed these issues still exist within all local school systems. As one of the co-founders of West Tennessee LGBTQ+ Support, I hope to be involved in meaningful change that can help prevent other children from experiencing the same abuses that I did, while creating a better world for my own children to live in. I hope that we can build a society where no child ever even contemplates suicide or their worth and value in this world.

One instance was seen in Rep. Chris Todd’s response to local activist efforts. As a major influencer against LGBTQ+ rights, Todd has made his hateful opinions clearly known and even used them as a part of his reelection campaign strategy. On his public Facebook page, Todd has repeatedly blocked local constituents for expressing their views that opposed his own. When confronted, he insisted that it was done automatically, although Facebook does not currently offer any blocking methods that can automatically block users from your page. Silencing queer voices has historically been seen in fascist regimes, and it is incredibly evident in this seemingly small choice made by Todd.

These transgressions are just a few examples of the battles LGBTQ+ Tennesseans are facing daily. True southern hospitality is found in homes that welcome anyone with a kind heart with a cup of warm coffee and a listening ear instead of vicious bigotry based on misinformation and an underlying hatred for anyone that dares exist outside of the boxes we are expected to accept. Maybe then we can bring back real values to our city.

Make sure to subscribe for the latest updates and follow us on all our social media!

linktr.ee/westtnlgbtq

---